well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
no. you can't hotbox the world.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
