I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
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