Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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