; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
