She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
