She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
