omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
