Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I checked into jail on foursquare
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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