Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Randomize
