Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
