she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
