You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
No subtext here. People are naked.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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