feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
