We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
