A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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