you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
