dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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