I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
