butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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