the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
