He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
