He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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