we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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