Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
