the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
