Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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