Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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