I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
