You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
What drink are we having for lunch?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Randomize
