Got a toothbrush?
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
My sheets look like a crime scene.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize