someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
