He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You ruined the universe
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
