Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
