Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
