Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
