Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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