Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
