did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Screwed.edu
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
