Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
