I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize