I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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