So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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