i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize