Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
