one might say we're banned from that church
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
