What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
