Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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