Dual....:-)
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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