My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
He felt like a one man threesome
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
