How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
