They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
