This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
