Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Randomize