No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
