Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Im part way to drunk.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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