I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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