I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Just high enough for therapy.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
