just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
