I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
