Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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