called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
