We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
