Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
