i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
